On Charity

Today I got in a fight on the internet. (Warning, language)

Internet fights are inherently pointless and so I generally try to steer clear of them. But sometimes, people say things that strike a chord and I feel it would truly be unjust to let it go without saying my peace.

In 2003, the guys over at Penny Arcade created a charity called Child's Play, in response to yet another article claiming games teach violence. They partnered with the Seattle Children's Hospital (which was at that time treating about 190,000 sick children a year) to create a Wish List on Amazon and invited their readers to purchase toys and games on the list for the children at the hospital who had to be there for Christmas. The response was overwhelming - games and game systems stacked floor to ceiling, and a check for over $27,000. Since then, Child's Play has expanded year after year and now partners with over 70 hospitals around the world, to help these children and their families. There are many moving letters on Child's Play's site from patients, family members, and others who have been touched by this organization and their mission. In 2010 they raised over $2,000,000.

Today, a person well-known in the World of Warcraft and Starcraft communities, TotalBiscuit (TB), made this tweet: "Please go away with the spam, I'm not a supporter of Child's Play (prefer charities that help third world countries) and I'm busy working." I am not certain what tweet he received that caused him to state this, and let me make this clear from the beginning: I have absolutely no problem if Child's Play is not a charity someone wants to back. After making this tweet, TB began to argue with a couple of people, making tweets such as "One 3rd world kid given cleanwater so he doesn't die of disease is more important than 100 1st world kids getting computer games" and, after apparently getting some grief from the community, "What, I'm a monster because I'd prefer to see brown people not die of dirty water rather than white kids getting videogames? Grow up." My personal patience was lost after seeing this one: "Guess what, I get asked to help charities all the damn time, big fucking deal, I pick the ones that actually matter." The implications that helping millions of children around the world, sick, injured, and dying in hospitals doesn't matter pushed me over the edge.

What follows, unedited, is the discussion that commenced, beginning with my reply:

Me: You don't have to berate good charities and say they don't matter just bc they aren't your thing.

TB: You don't have to get hideously fucking butthurt over nothing either and twist my words.

Me: "I get asked to help charities all the damn time [...] I pick the ones that actually matter." Twist words? You said it, not me

TB: If you think Childs Play matters more than charities that save lives in 3rd world countries you are a fucking idiot. Fact.

Me: Berating ones that "don't matter" is stupid. They all matter in their own way. If you don't think that, you're the idiot. And you don't have to monetarily support something to have some damn respect for it and for the people who do support it.

TB: I see words but no intelligence behind them. People have finite wealth to give to charity, it should be given to ones that actually matter and help people that really need it. Child's Play might as well be a charity that gives cake and balloons to sick white kids.

Me:  More than just white kids get sick. And people can support more than one charity, hard as that may be for you to comprehend. Having support for Child's Play doesn't mean NOT supporting clean water charities.

TB: You live in a fantasy world where people have infinite money.

Me: I hope you never have to go through the pain of seeing a dearly-loved child suffer in the hospital with nothing to do all day, for days, weeks, months, etc. It can literally be the difference between the will to live, and wasting away to die. I've seen it firsthand, and I've heard it time and time again. Also, children of all races and colors and income levels get sick, all around the world, so you may want to change your racist tune of only "white kids" being helped. I have a lot of respect for ANYONE who helps charities, who has the good in their heart to put others first. You don't have to support Child's Play, but you also shouldn't berate it - it's doing good in an area you obviously don't care about. You donate your finite wealth where you like, and I'll donate mine where I like.

TB also made a point of posting a screenshot of himself donating to a clean water charity. Later, as arguments continued, (these were not directed to me) he tweeted "I'm sorry, please remind me how much you donated to a worthwhile charity this evening. I am beyond reproach right now." He continued to make personal attacks to others, apparently believing himself superior to all others by virtue of the donation he made today: "How much did you give to charity tonight you selfrighteous cunt? Lemme guess, nothing at all." "I have to wonder how many of those bitching donated a single cent. Somehow I doubt it's all that many of them." I am no Bible-thumper, I can honestly say I haven't read it for years, but this grandstanding did call to mind a quote which I looked up to ensure proper wording: Matthew, 6:2 - When you give to someone in need, don’t do as the hypocrites do—blowing trumpets in the synagogues and streets to call attention to their acts of charity! I tell you the truth, they have received all the reward they will ever get.

As I said earlier in this post, I honestly don't care what charities someone does or does not choose to support. I care that those charities are respected, as are the people who do chose to support them. Apparently, TB believes that only clean water charities are worth supporting. I'm not certain how all those people who wrote letters to Child's Play would feel about that. Or how about the people whose lives have been saved by being provided with surgeries and treatments via cancer charities? What about charities that feed the hungry, or save women and children from abusive households? Or even charities that aid developing countries, like TB's preferred water charity - what about providing them with vaccinations, food, clothing, etc.?

Giving money to a charity - any charity - does not make you a charitable person. Charity is one of the seven heavenly virtues of Christianity, one of the five pillars of faith of Islam, and is an obligation in the Jewish faith. Charity comes from the heart, from a desire to give to others and help those who need it. All charities are worthwhile. If you truly think they aren't, TotalBiscuit, or anyone else reading this - I implore you, find someone whose life has been impacted by a charity that "doesn't matter" and tell them, to their face, that their suffering doesn't matter to you, and you don't want to help them - and that you don't think they're worth anyone else helping, either.

You may give your money to any charity you please. But please, have respect for the missions of all charities, even those you may not support.

As for myself, I will continue to support Child's Play.


UPDATE: I'm amazed at the views I've gotten here and the support I've received. In light of this and to shine light on this important charity which does good work around the world, I'm happy to announce that GKick, my World of Warcraft podcast, and its partner sites, will be organizing a charity giveaway later this year. Please stay tuned to our podcast and gkick.net for more details. Thank you.

"Where is it? What do I do?"

Something not a lot of people know about me: I'm really obsessed into medieval historical novels & biographies (think Henry VIII). A chance late-night viewing of this movie is what started it all, although the movie is riddled with glaring historical inaccuracies.

Since then, if it's been written, odds are I've read it. I particularly enjoyed the novel on Henry VIII written by Margaret George, and have since read every one of her novels, even the ones not taking place in the 1500/1600's. Every one of them was fantastic, and of course that meant I was very looking forward to the release of her Elizabeth I novel on April 5, 2011. So looking forward that I preorded it from Amazon over a month early.

As some of you are probably realizing, April 5 has come and gone. If you're guessing this means I still don't have the book, well, you'd be right.

On April 6, I checked Amazon's site to find out the status of my order. I had it sent with the free shipping option so I was expecting a possible delay - I was not expecting, however, to see that it had not even been shipped yet. A call to Amazon elicited apologies and a complimentary upgrade to free overnight shipping. I was told I would have the book on the 7th and apparently the issue was that Amazon only had the paperback version available when I preordered, but the book ended up being only in stock in hardcover.

That was yesterday. Still no book.

So, I called again. The rep checked over the previous notes, and saw the paperback vs. hardcover mention. She switched my order to the hardcover version, and I reminded her about the complimentary overnight upgrade. She saw the note for that and set it for overnight shipping, and I was told I would have it today, Friday, April 8.

Unfortunately, I cannot say I was surprised when I didn't get the book today. Checking in on Amazon's site, I saw that the book still hadn't been shipped. It has a delivery estimate of Monday, April 11, an entire week after the book was released. Adding insult to injury was the charge of $17.98 for overnight shipping - more than the cost of the book - that was charged to my bank account.

$17.98 to overnight a book???

Another phone call to Amazon, another rep. This time I was told that whoever processed the order processed it as a new order, rather than a replacement order, and so I would be responsible for shipping. I questioned him on that - how is it my fault that the rep from the day before processed the order wrong? I had been offered FREE overnight shipping to make up for the mistake. He repeated that, because it had been processed as a new order, I was responsible for the shipping fee. He was quick to say, however, that since the book had not actually been overnighted, that he would be able to refund the shipping fees.

Part of me wants to just let it go and be happy that I am getting the benefit of my original bargain. But a far bigger part of me is livid that a rep messed up and so Amazon tried to screw me for almost $20 in shipping. I wonder how many other people they actually HAVE screwed like that.

What's that all about, Amazon? I've been a customer for about 10 years. I've never, ever had a shipping issue with you guys. Even on the few times I've had to call about something, it's been fixed quickly and I've never been told I was responsible for re-shipping or anything like that.

I love the ability to get inexpensive books delivered quickly and avoiding the hassle of traveling to the nearest could-do-better bookstore. But after a series of mistakes like this, I'll have to weigh my options carefully before ordering something so anticipated through Amazon.

A tangled web

This past Saturday, as my amazing husband was driving to a local restaurant to pick us up dinner, someone crashed into our car. He was in the left lane, about to make a left turn, when another vehicle attempted to pass him on the left - in oncoming traffic - and the oversized rear passenger tire of his car hit the front driver side of our car. His car - unscathed. Our car? Well. See most of it for yourself:



The other driver gave his information to the police, who of course gave it to us. The first problem: He told the police the wrong insurance company. While I'd like to assume this was a simple mistake, a couple factors make that difficult to believe, mostly the fact that the supposed company informed me that this party hasn't been insured with them for about five years. I could see naming the wrong company after a few months. Maybe even one year, maybe you're flustered or something. But five? I don't think so. The nice people at the wrong insurance company helped me find out who the ACTUAL insurance company was, and I filed claims with both them and my insurance company.

Today, my insurance called and informed me that the other driver was claiming a completely different story.

I know car accidents are one of those "he-said-she-said" things. As evidence, I'd like to present the following:

A Google Street Maps view of the site. My husband was stopped planning to turn into the first driveway on the left for the shopping plaza.

A Google Maps aerial shot of the same location. You can see that the Mobil lot cannot be entered from the eastbound (right-hand) side of Boston Post Road; you must make a left and enter from the side street.

The driver who hit us stated, according to our insurance company: "I was turning left and they hit me." Where he was turning left, no one is exactly sure - if he wasn't going to the same shopping plaza as my husband, the only place he could have been turning was at the light, and the accident didn't happen that far up. If he's trying to claim he was going to the gas station on the corner ... well...

Note the multiple "Do not enter" signs.

Also, from the damage on the car and the LACK of damage on his car, it seems pretty clear that he hit us - our bumper was hit from the side and pushed forward. The damage is more on the side than on the corner.

So now I get to deal with a lengthy insurance battle, all because a punk kid driving his daddy's company car can't man up and find the cajones to admit he screwed up. I'm sure this drama is not over, so more to come.

Can you hear me now?

In January, after a long trial of trying to get our T-Mobile phones to work in the area we moved to recently, we gave up the fight and switched to Sprint. T-Mobile was very nice about it, admitting that their coverage basically sucks in this area, and happily canceled our service with no early termination fees.

Our trials with Sprint are for another post, but in general we've been happy with the service and very happy with our phones. Today, we received the final bill from T-Mobile. Although everything should have been canceled as of January 26, they were charging us another entire month of service: 1/28 - 2/27.

I'm not unfamiliar with this business, and of course I assumed it was something that would be corrected with a simple phone call - obviously, service had been canceled, as the number had been ported and the old phones no longer worked.

Upon calling T-Mobile, however, and explaining my predicament, I was met with this gem: "Your service didn't actually get canceled until January 28, and that's the start of your billing cycle for the month, so you get charged for the whole month."

I spent a bit of time arguing with the rep regarding the 1/28 date. We had 4 lines on our account, 3 of which were canceled on 1/26 when we showed T-Mobile proof of our new address. The other line was having the number ported to Sprint, which was supposed to happen on 1/26 as well (the day we got the new phones), but somewhere between Sprint and T-Mobile something got messed up and this didn't actually get processed until 1/28. My hunch is that it just took them 2 days to get their ducks in a row. But, it wasn't worth my time to keep arguing about 2 days and a few dollars. The heart of the matter was the charges after 1/28, which were substantial.

The rep kept to his position that we owed the full amount. He kept going back to the comment "You didn't cancel until 1/28." Finally, in my sweetest, most passive-aggressive voice, I said "I understand that service is billed a month in advance. That's not a problem. But by your own admission, service ended on January 28. So now all needs to be done is to issue a credit for all charges after that date." I was met with silence, and a request to hold. Shortly thereafter, he came back on the line, and within 5 minutes all the extra charges had been removed from my bill. Of course, later on when I was less mad, I thought about it and realized Hey, this is the end of March. They didn't bill us in advance, they billed us well after the fact! Too late now, although it makes the situation much more shady in my mind.

I can only assume that the reps are trained to try to make it sound like the consumer is required to pay these charges. Thankfully, I pride myself on being an informed consumer. But I wonder how many less-informed people have just said "Okay" and paid the charges? It's a shame such a great, 10-year relationship with T-Mobile ended on such a sour note. Oh well, at least I got out before the world ended.

You want the package? You can't handle the package!

Sometimes, I get packages. Not often, but maybe a few times a year. Sometimes we order something off Amazon, or maybe Newegg. Sometimes my mom sends us something. Some sources are great when it comes to shipping. If we aren't home, UPS (and FedEx too, to their credit) will leave it in our apartment office, which accepts packages for residents who aren't otherwise able to sign for them.

Not so, however, with the United States Postal Service.

Until sometime last year, the USPS was leaving packages at the office. I clearly remember picking up some things there shipped USPS Priority. Around December, that changed. First it was a package from Old Navy. Then, from Amazon. Yesterday, it was a package from my mom. For those who don't know, my husband & I co-host a World of Warcraft podcast, GKick (insert shameless plug here). We'd been holding on to our 2008 Blizzcon goodie bags and we were finally prepared to start offering up our swag as giveaways for our show. So my great awesome fantastic mom found them for us (one of many things left in CA when we moved to MA) and shipped them out.

I knew the package was coming. I had a tracking number and everything. I knew it was out for delivery. When we didn't hear anything as the afternoon went on, we checked the USPS site.

It said they attempted to deliver and we weren't home.

Cue blind rage.

Not only was I home, as I am almost every day in my role as a stay-home wife, but my husband was home as well. Seeing as this is the third offense in four months, I decided it was time to complain. In a slightly related but altogether different story, it's quite difficult to get someone on the phone at 1-800-ASK-USPS who will take a complaint. Once they do, though, they're quite nice. I was told I'd get a call in a day or so from my local branch to talk about the issue.

This morning, I got that call. A brusque and slightly peeved-sounding woman called from a private number (she's lucky I answered, I did it on a whim) and after confirming my identity proceeded to tell me exactly why I was wrong and essentially called me a liar. And I quote: "The carrier knocked on your door and there was no answer. You must have been in the bathroom or something."

Normally, I'd accept this as a possibility. Contrary to popular belief I do in fact use the facilities from time to time. But there were two people home today, and neither of them were in the bathroom at the same time. There was always someone who would have heard if there was a knock at the door - or, if the carrier had the brains God gave a billy goat, a ringing of our very loud buzzer.

Tired of discussing my bathroom habits with a faceless USPS employee, I moved on to Point 2: If the tenant isn't home, packages should be left at the main office. UPS does it. FedEx does it. The USPS used to do it. Her reply? "Even if you request the package be left there, we won't do it. It's not secure, and if something happens we take the blame."

Let's recap, shall we? If I'm not home, I don't get my package. If I am home, the carrier doesn't knock, and I don't get my package. If I know there's a chance I may not be home, and request that packages be left attended and secure at the main office, I don't get my package. I'm unable to figure out a circumstance short of sitting outside waiting for the carrier to show up where I actually do get to receive my package without having a failed delivery attempt and having to just go pick it up myself.

After picking up my package at the local USPS office, I made a call to my mom, and requested that from now on she just send everything FedEx. And people wonder why the USPS is bleeding money.

Welcome!

My oldest and dearest friend once remarked to me that she couldn't believe the ridiculous things that happened to me with frequency. My everyday life is fraught with difficulties and hurdles usually not of my making - the truth of the matter is I often can't believe it myself.

Another old, dear friend recently commented that writing is not therapy, which I agree with. I cannot pretend I have any of the writing skill she has, but I can agree that the act of writing is not therapy. So please, do not misconstrue anything you may read here as my attempt to battle mental demons.

I'm starting this blog for two reasons. The first is to chronicle and share the inanity that is my life, in all its' glory, as a testament that yes, that really just happened. The second is a cleansing of the soul - my attempt to summarize events and let them go. Free-range inanity on the internet.

Por favor, mantenganse allejado de las puertas.